I find English to be a fascinating language, a combination of roots of different languages with variations in meaning depending on context. As the news of our move is shared, I hear people exclaim, “You’re moving to England? That’s terrific!”

Really, I couldn’t think of a better word to describe how I feel.

Terrific (adv), 1. magnificent, 2. exciting fear or awe. Derived from Latin terrificus, to frighten

The reality of me leaving hit hard this week. I was so excited when my new Erin Condren Life Planner and accessories arrived in the mail. I dug into it on Thursday night, assembling my stickers and transferring dates from my old planner. As I moved my appointments into the new Life Planner, I could have sworn that they misprinted the calendar and forgot a couple pages. I flipped back and forth, trying to figure out what numbers were missing.

And then it hit me. There are no pages missing. I’m really leaving in a month. Cue the waterworks while simultaneously trying to avoid getting tears on the page, because Erin Condren is not cheap, folks.

Needless to say, Thursday night was not my favorite night ever. And Friday wasn’t the best either – I cried on my way to the gym, after my workout, while eating my salad (now that’s a look for you to envision), and while texting my friends. It was a rough 24 hours.

But then I found myself standing outside, and I thought to myself, “I’m moving to England. Wow!” and a big smile washed over my face.

You see, I’ve always thought it would be so exciting to live in another country, to take on the challenges and adventure that come with a new culture. Especially since I met Martin (who is English), I thought that some time down the road, you know, maybe when our future children were off at college, that we’d buy a house and spend significant time in England. What a shame it would be to spend my whole life in one place.

Really, at the heart of this, I am so excited. We have a beautiful home to settle into in a perfectly picturesque English village. We’ll finally be able to spend real time together as a married couple. We will have the opportunity to travel and sightsee all within a short plane or train ride. My enthusiasm is a big reason I started this blog; I cannot wait to share this completely new life with the people I love.

But then there are times when I am terrified. I am a planner (hence my excitement for my new calendar), and after February 20, I do not have a plan. I have faith in my husband that this was the right decision for our family, and I have faith in God that he is providing us with the opportunity of a lifetime. For the first time in a long time, I don’t know what is around the corner, and it is terrific.

More than anything, I’m leaving my comfort zone behind. I know the roads of Indiana like the back of my hand. I was born and raised here, went to college here, and settled my life here. My family is here (both immediate and extended) and my support groups (shout out to my Miss Indiana family!). I don’t have to think twice about what stores sell printer toner, or what kind of dog food to buy, or what side of the road to drive on to go buy those things. Ugh.

And then I bring myself back to the thought, “What a shame it would be to spend my whole life in one place.” It’s time for me to get a little uncomfortable, to learn something new, to stretch my wings, and to grow.

But boy am I going to miss you all. That is the hardest part of all.